Hidden truths
It took me a long time to tap into the wisdom of Purim, to really understand its importance. On the outside, it seems like a silly holiday. People dress in costumes partying, drinking, embodying the wildness of a free-for-all. What’s not to love? But it can feel meaningless without the context of why we do it. It wasn’t until I allowed myself to read between the lines that I began to appreciate the seriousness of the holiday, to see the hidden meaning behind each tradition. And this is really what Purim is all about: hidden truths.
The name אֶסְתֵּר (Esther) comes from the same root as the word for hidden or concealed, נסתר (Nistar). There are many interpretations about this, the obvious being that she hid her true identity from King Achashverosh (her husband), who did not know she was Jewish. Another is that God’s hand is hidden from this story, as his name is not mentioned once. To remind us that things are not always what they seem. That just because God was not mentioned, doesn’t mean he wasn’t present. He was there the whole time, hidden in the shadows but ever omniscient. That part of keeping the faith means trusting ourselves and our own intuition. That sometimes the things which seem bad on the surface might actually be for the greater good. Like what is happening in Israel right now.
Events in Israel seem to always clearly mirror the Jewish calendar, with a resonance that continuously reaffirms my own faith. Like the sound of a ballistic missile hitting a building. Once you hear it, it rings in your body and your memory long after it’s over. And yet, Israelis are still dancing in bomb shelters, remembering the story of Esther and Mordechai with more zeal than ever before. Because they know that this Iranian regime must fall if there is any possibility for peace. Because it is the nature of Jews to persist, to take matters into their own hands, always keeping faith in God in the process, whether divine presence is obvious or not. In the Purim story, the Jewish nation did not sit around waiting for a miracle, but instead took matters into their own hands to save themselves from an evil force. And so we continue to dance no matter what is happening around us. THAT is purim. A dance embracing both the dark and the light as one.
Some say that Purim reveals our shadow side. The costume we wear is a mirror for the alter ego, the darker parts of ourselves that are always there, even when we don’t want to face them. To teach us how how to dance with our unfavorable traits, to embrace both the darkness and the light together. Because one cannot exist without the other. The Purim story could not exist without Haman. Without him, Esther and Mordechai would not have been given the opportunity to rise up and save the Jewish nation, to level up their souls. It’s why it’s encouraged to drink until you cannot distinguish the difference between good (Mordechai) and evil (Haman). To remind us that where God is present, there is no difference - it all becomes one. It’s not about the contrast, it’s about the unity. On the spiritual plane, everything is for the good, הכל לטובה. When you unmask these hidden truths, there is really no clarity like it. In a very unobvious way, it all starts to make sense. Woah Purim!!!
Esther’s character inspires me. To me, she represents the divine feminine in its purest form. Esther was a young girl who didn’t want to marry the king, but kept her faith in God and did it anyway. She was pushed out of her comfort zone, but always stayed true to herself. At just the right moment, she makes the decision to reveal her true identity and call out the injustice of Haman’s decree. Although risky, she setup everything perfectly so that the King would be inclined to honor her boundaries. It was her idea to hold a banquet, her idea to ask the Jews to fast the night before to call in the support of God. She stood strong in her inner knowing when it mattered most, which is not only what saved herself, but the entire Jewish nation. Proof that when women follow their intuition, it benefits the whole world. That we can channel our own divine power at any moment. That when we tap into our deepest inner knowing, it is God’s presence shining through.
Divine feminine means taking things slow, not rushing. Slow and steady. Soft, but strong. The Purim story spans 11 years, which means Esther waited patiently and diligently to fulfill her destiny. The profane masculine contrast is taking, conquering, violence. It is the energy of war, which is what would have happened if Esther had not intervened. This is why the divine feminine influence is so crucial: it keeps the world in balance. Which brings me to the point of all of this, to the light I am praying for during this turbulent time in Israel.
Like Mordechai and Achashverosh, may our men step into their divine masculine, so they can see the beautiful female power of protection. May they truly understand what could be when they enter the space of the divine feminine. My prayer for the women is for every woman to know her power. As a friend put it so eloquently: “May the feminine voice come back into the world with deep resonance and influence. Intuition is God shining through. May we remember that God is always present, even when it feels like he’s not. May we all have the tools (space, time, safety) to be open enough to channel our own intuition, knowing, and divine power. To find our inner peace. May we be bold enough to speak out on injustices in the world through and on behalf of our souls.”
Most importantly, may we all be able to dance with the darkness and the light as one, to put forth our own desires into the world, then step back and surrender to divine messages, like Esther. May we all tap into the highest parts of ourselves, our humblest parts, and remember that it is only when we get to the place of no knowing that our truest inner knowing shines through.